During my single days, when I reached a point in my career where I was making decent money, I hired a housekeeper. It was my treat to myself for achieving a certain level of success. My housekeeper only came once every two weeks – so in between I still had to clean – but I looked forward to coming home the day she’d been there. It was so nice to walk into a sparkly house that I didn’t have hand in creating.
When I married my husband, I informed him that I was going to keep the housekeeper – that she and I were a package deal. Wither I goest, so goest the housekeeper. And for the first two years of our marriage, it was so.
But then he retired at a young age, we moved out of state, we built a house, I didn’t work for a while, and the housekeeper went away.
I’ve been cleaning my own house ever since. Until recently, I didn’t mind. Cleaning house wasn’t my favorite task, but I didn’t hate it, and I liked the results. It gave me a feeling of satisfaction to create order out of chaos. I liked seeing gleaming furniture, streak free-mirrors, lint-less carpet. It felt good to live in a space that was uncluttered and clean.
(I remember a game show question: “Your house is mess, and you’re a mess. You have 30 minutes before someone comes by. What do you fix up, the house or yourself?” The house, of course! )
But as every woman knows, it’s a never-ending job. And several months ago, I hit the wall. My tolerance meter for the repetitive task of cleaning pegged.
It occurred sometime between the period when writing and promotion began to consume the majority of my day, the point at which we listed our house for sale and had to keep it super-clean and neat, and the moment when my husband chewed me out for not perfectly aligning the towels on the rack after I’d been picking his up off the floor for seventeen years.
Our house did sell. We moved to another state and are in the process of building a house. We’re living in rental now. I clean, but not with the same rigor as I used to and feel no guilt about it or inclination to do otherwise because it’s not my house.
Mentally, I’ve crossed a point of no return. I’m done. Consider me a house-cleaning short-timer.
Before the end of the year, our house will be completed, and I’ve already put my husband on notice. When my writing income reaches a certain goal I’ve set, I’m hiring a housekeeper.
We’re a package deal.
I’ve never had a housekeeper before but my now ex-husband was a neat freak. Together we kept the house spotless. He can’t stand mess, unless it’s his clothes all over the place, but I can tolerate mess to a certain point. I think a mom of 4, or a mom with any kids, has to. Once I get to a certain point, I feel the need to clean. But over the last year with writing and promoting, plus looking after the kids, and all that comes with that, I just don’t have time to clean like I used to. Or I don’t make time, whichever. My kids do some household cleaning chores, but they’re kids – it’s not always the most stellar job! Recently, I broke down and hired a housekeeper to do the tasks I don’t have time for on a regular basis. I don’t feel bad, I feel better. Even though money is tight, I think it’ll be a good investment because we can have a clean place and still do all we’re doing without the added stress!
Great post, Cara
Before I first published in October 2011, I was a clean house fanatic. I was OCD. It has to be perfect all the time. And now I wonder if its just because I had nothing to do. Now that I write, edit, and work for a PR company, I have no time for it. And no one else here seems to be stepping up to help me clean it. Its a total wreck. I hate looking at it. Oh and we are about to put ours on the market in a week and a half. I have a lot of work. So I’m having to step away from writing…can’t with edits…but to get this house in order.
Great post Cara!
A couple years ago, I got a coupon for 6 months of every-2-weeks housecleaning. That was one of the happiest times of my life
I can’t wait until i’m making enough money writing to justify doing it again. There’s just not enough time in the day, and my kids & writing come first… Thanks for this post.
I hope you get there soon! I don’t mind the act of cleaning, but I loathe the time-suck factor. Maybe I should make getting a housecleaner my goal, too, lol.
Before I had a child, I was one of those people with a super-clean home. Everything was clean and organized, like in a magazine. Now I write full-time while also being a full-time caregiver to my toddler. Yeah, my house isn’t usually as clean anymore, and it’s definately not as organized (a 2 year old boy can create a room full of clutter in the blink of an eye). I wish I didn’t have to take hours out of my day to do cleaning tasks. Housekeepers are unheard of in my neighborhood, but I’d like to someday invest in one, as my time could certainly be better spent writing more.