Back in the eighth grade, I had a crush on a really cute boy for all of about two weeks. My infatuation lasted until we had a school assembly and the object of my desire, who was running for a class office, got up to speak. He may have been pretty to look at, but he didn’t sound very smart and my interest evaporated in a poof.
I recall that incident because I read another blog in which the author posted photos of men who are not handsome, but who she still thinks are sexy. And she asked the question, other than physical attributes, what makes a man sexy?
Even as a junior high student, I knew that looks weren’t enough. But what is? I think there are three key character traits and one bonus factor:
- Courage. Of all the traits ascribed to men, this one defines the measure of a man more than any other. Courage often is linked to bravery on the battlefield, but that’s only a small part. Courage is honor. To do the right thing, to make the difficult choice and take responsibility for the outcome is courage.
- Confidence. Confidence is acceptance and belief in one’s self at the core level, expressed modestly and tempered by kindness. It is different from arrogance, which is a shallow confidence derived from insecurity and lacking kindness. Which leads to…
- Kindness. While traits like aggression, dominance, and competitiveness are typically viewed as masculine and kindness is seen as more feminine, nice guys don’t get the attention they deserve. Kindness or compassion is necessary for good relationships. Which is sexier: a buff, macho guy cradling a baby or a buff, macho guy kicking a puppy?
And there is another trait that many women find sexy in a man, that draws almost as much attention as physical attractiveness. But it’s not a physical factor nor a character trait. It is…
- Humor. Funny is sexy. Many women have said this. What makes a good sense of humor sexy is that laughter puts people at ease and makes them feel good. However, humor alone, like physical attractiveness can mask a lack a character. Many not-so-nice people are still very funny. So if a man is courageous, confident and kind, humor is bonus. If he isn’t those things, humor isn’t enough.