What turns you on in erotica/erotic romance?

When you read M/F erotic romance or erotica, what turns you on? Is your libido stirred more by focusing on the guy – what he looks like, what is being done to him – or by experiencing a vicarious thrill through the heroine – imagining that you are her, and you are the object of the hero’s attentions? Does her response stir your response?

Do you find it sexier when the heroine services the hero or when the hero services the heroine?

I try to provide both in the erotic romances I write, but I wonder…what do female readers prefer?

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7 Responses to What turns you on in erotica/erotic romance?

  1. Basia Rose says:

    Both! Often, I need both! I never understand those women who don’t want to hear about what’s going on with or happening to the woman. Surely for most readers the idea of that woman being *you* at least plays some part in the reading experience.
    I would think that’s why different women love different heroines in a series. I know so many people whose favourite heroines are those they feel they look most like and/or have something in common with.

  2. Sue Lyndon says:

    I’m going to say BOTH too:) Of course I always identify with the woman in the story the most, but I also like to read about what she’s doing to the man and how it’s affecting him – it’s just as hot to me as reading about the things he’s doing to her:)

  3. Glori says:

    Well, interestingly, I find myself emotionally drawn to most heroes’ inner conflicts. I’m a girl but whenever I read something that narrates how the hero feels or thinks about the heroine, that’s when I get ‘turned on’.

    The way the heroine is described during intimate moments… both physically and emotionally also kind of attracts me.


  4. Natalie says:

    What turns me in in the story is how they commence in the sexual part. Here’s a confession, when I read erotica stories, I skip to the sexy part. lols. <3

  5. Cara Bristol says:

    I like both as well. I want to identify with the heroine, but fall in love with the hero.

  6. Lexi says:

    I don’t care what the hero/heroine looks like. I want to identify with the feelings. The way lust completely takes over and completely obliterates all common sense.

    I don’t need specific detail ie ‘his tongue touched the hood of my clitoris’ but I need enough to get me involved in the story. He has to touch me here and not ‘his lips brushed my secret garden and I blossomed’.

    • Cara Bristol says:

      Ah Lexi, you’ve hit upon the difference between erotica and erotic romance!

      Once thing I’ve learned is draw emotion into sex scenes. My sex scenes are explicit, but they’re not just physical, they’re emotional and mental as well. Without the feelings, there is no romance!

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