If you’ll refer to last year’s letter dated December 21, 2011, you’ll note that my holiday requests were simple: a dragon to guard my office door, more hours in the day, and a mere 10-year calendar roll-back so I could get started writing sooner.
I must have been very naughty, because I didn’t receive any of those things, although it’s probably wise that you didn’t bring me the dragon because we moved and our new homeowners’ association has very strict rules about what pets are acceptable. I’m pretty sure that dragons would fall under the category of forbidden exotic reptiles. I have no desire to be on the homeowners’ association’s naughty list too.
However, that doesn’t excuse I tried harder to be good this year, and I’m only going to request one thing. And I’m not even asking you to give it to me, just lend it. Let me borrow it for twenty years, a little while.
Dearest Santa, could you pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top lend me one of your elves? I need a helper, really, really bad.
This writing gig is a full-time-plus job, and I could use a little assistance with all my other a few of my chores. All I need the elf to do is cook dinner, do the laundry, do the shopping, clean the house, let the cats in and out, and on occasion, keep my family entertained with a rousing game of backgammon or croquet.
I’ll leave you a slice of rum cake. I’ll even bake it myself. The elf doesn’t have to start until Wednesday. To prove how hard I’ve been working, I’ll send you a copy of Body Politics, the third novel in the Rod and Cane Society domestic discipline series. It’s a battle of the sexes, feminist v. dom story and is being released by Loose Id on January 8, 2013.
Body Politics might give you and Mrs. Claus some fun ideas. *Wink* I’m sorry, was that naughty? Please don’t hold that against me. I really need that elf.