Why do people have sex? #WriteTip #SexScenes

Why do people have sex?

Hint: It’s not about horniness. Of course, sometimes the reason can be that simple: to scratch an itch, but often there is a strong emotional component that is expressed sexually. People engage in sexual intercourse for any number of positive or negative reasons, such as:

  • To show or seek affection
  • To gain approval
  • For the adventure or thrill of it
  • To curb loneliness
  • To be liked
  • To distract the other person
  • To mollify the other person
  • To make up after a fight
  • For the sense of power (conquest)
  • Boredom
  • To put the other person in a good mood (works like a charm on men!)
  • For revenge
  • To express an emotional bond

And that’s one of the keys to writing good sex scenes – make the sex about something other than sex. Before your characters leap into bed consider what the underlying emotions might be, and draw your language, actions, and dialog from that emotion.

Naughty Words for Nice Writers, A Sexual and Spanking Thesaurus

NaughtyWords600x900If you’ve struggled to find the right tone for your romantic sex scene, stared at the computer for 15 minutes trying to come up with the perfect verb, become stymied because some terms are too crude while others are too flowery, or found yourself reusing the same words over and over, Naughty Words for Nice Writers, A Sexual and Spanking Thesaurus can help you break through those barriers. Cara Bristol, the author of 17 erotic romances, has written a guide to help you find the erotic words to write a sex scene that sizzles.

Naughty Words for Nice Writers is packed with more than 1,200 usable, functional synonyms geared for romance, erotic romance, and erotica. Included are 28 different “erotic word lists” such as male and female anatomy, foreplay, orgasm, specific sexual acts and kink, sexual noises, spanking terminology, and much more. The guide offers suggestions on how to write a sex scene and how to tighten your writing so it sings.

With an emphasis on verbs, this guide will help you “show” the intimacy between your characters rather than tell it. Whether you’re writing a “fade to black” scene or a graphic and explicit one, Naughty Words for Nice Writers will give you the words.

Get Naughty Words in paperback, ebook, and PDF (for your laptop/tablet) 

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | All Romance (pdf)

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3 Responses to Why do people have sex? #WriteTip #SexScenes

  1. Livia Grant says:

    Great post! My 20 YO son came in my office last night to talk and noticed the book I was reading (your thesaurus of course). I’m not sure he’s done teasing me yet, but for what it’s worth, he loved the title. 🙂 I suspect he may reference it today when I’m at the day job. 🙂
    ~Livia

  2. Ah, manipulation – gotta love it. I’ve got your book and I can’t wait to dive in when I get to my next 2nd draft (that’s when I start trying to make the words “prettier.” Lol).

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