#SpankA2Z: B is for the BEST of conversations with my husband

A2Z-logo2015Welcome to day 2 of the 2nd Annual Spanking A to Z blog challenge. Throughout June, spanking fiction authors will post a blog corresponding to a different letter of the alphabet, beginning with A and ending with Z. Many of the blogs, including mine, will focus on some aspect of spanking and/or the authors’ books, but you’ll also run across many random, but fun topics.  

From time to time on Facebook, I post “Conversations with DH,” snippets of dialog I have with my husband (DH=Dear Husband). For SpankA2Z, I’ve pulled from the FB archives the best of those conversations:

B is for the BEST of conversations with DH:

DH: Did you see that? Some woman just took a picture of our house.
Me: Maybe she just likes the brick or something. We’ve done that [taken photos of houses we like|.
DH: Yeah, but I was standing naked in front of the window.
Me: Then she’s going to get a surprise.

♥ ♥ ♥

DH: What happened to the chair that was in your office?
Me [I hid it upstairs]: It went away.
DH: You didn’t want me to sit there and put my shoes on did you?
[While I’m working, he walks clear across the house, plops himself in the chair in my office to put his shoes on].
Me: That’s right.
DH: This isn’t going to stop me.

♥ ♥ ♥

DH: I’m going to run into town.
Me: Okay.
DH: I don’t really have anything to do, but I want to get out of here so you can work and make me millions.

♥ ♥ ♥

DH: Are you looking at your hair again? Has it changed that much since yesterday?
Me: When you fly an airplane, don’t you do a pre-flight check even though you may have taken it out the day before?
DH: Well, that makes sense.

♥ ♥ ♥

I was working on my thesaurus, Naughty Words for Nice Writers when DH, who’d gone for breakfast with the guys, phoned me:

DH: Do you have a purple headed yogurt slinger?
Me: What?
DH: Do you have a purple headed yogurt slinger?
Me: No. What is that?
DH: It’s a word for pecker.
Me: No, that’s not in the book. You can’t write that in romance.

♥ ♥ ♥

My husband is 14 years older than me. And, he has a high school reunion this summer.

DH: Are you going to strut around like a trophy wife at the reunion?
Me: Trophy wives don’t need to strut.
DH: Well, are you going to act like a trophy wife?
Me: I’m going to act like a famous author.
DH: That will work too. Everybody knows authors are millionaires.

♥ ♥ ♥

Me: How do you feel about barbecuing the chicken? I’ll do the rest of it.
DH: Well, I guess I have no choice, if I want to eat.

♥ ♥ ♥

DH [reading from a Wilbur Smith book]: “Her expression was calm and her eyes were secretive, betraying nothing. Then, as their gazes locked, she allowed him to see into the secret, well-guarded places of her soul. Such manifest love for him shone forth from her violet eyes that he caught his breath. All at once he was aware of the depth of the change that had overtaken them. No matter what had gone before, they were now committed to one another. Nothing and nobody else counted. Looking into each other’s eyes, they exchanged vows that were silent but irrevocable.”
DH: How would you do that?
Me: I’d say, “They looked at each other and f–ked like bunnies.”
DH: I meant, show me the look.
Me: *laughing* Oh.

♥ ♥ ♥

Just as I started writing Warrior, Breeder, the first book in the sci-fi romance series, got tagged Adult by Amazon and disappeared off the radar screen.

DH: What’s this new book called?
Me: I don’t know yet.
DH: Well, don’t call it Breeder

♥ ♥ ♥

This is the one conversation that will stick in my mind FOREVER. DH had taken me to the doctor for a biopsy. Afterward, the doctor had come out to talk to us, but still under the effects of anesthesia, I didn’t even remember seeing the doctor, let alone remember what he said. When we got home I went to take a nap. Two hours later, DH enters the bedroom.

DH: It’s 4 o’clock. You’d better get up or you won’t sleep tonight.
Me: Ok.
DH: Are you functioning? [Meaning, are you alert?]
Me: Yes.
DH: [In a real serious voice] Then we need to talk.
Me: Oh, my God. It’s bad news isn’t it?
DH: No, not at all. I wanted to talk about the yard. The gardener says he needs two more loads of dirt to finish it up.

[BTW, biopsy results were fine].

Please visit the other authors of the SpankA2Z Blog Challenge

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9 Responses to #SpankA2Z: B is for the BEST of conversations with my husband

  1. Sue Lyndon says:

    LOL! Great idea for a post. I remember most of these from FB. 🙂

  2. Hilarious! Your husband sounds like a real hoot 🙂

  3. Casey McKay says:

    I love the conversations you post with your husband. He sounds like fun!

  4. Awesome idea for a post and I love conversations w/DH. Hope I get to meet him someday.

  5. Laurel Lasky says:

    Marvelous post. The conversations are unique and wonderful!

  6. Measha Stone says:

    Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger! Love it My husband continues to pester me to use Manspear He wants it to be the title, but he’ll settle for the usage inside the book.

  7. Angela says:

    Fun post! I love the one about the yard, I guess that was top most in his brain at that moment. I wonder what he was visualizing for you as a “trophy wife.?” Stillettos and pearls?

  8. Love these conversations! They crack me up! He’s nuts!! You’re well matched 😛

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