The kind of man I could go for…

It wasn’t love at first sight when I met my husband, but my exact thoughts when I saw him were: “That’s the kind of man I could go for.”

I belonged to Toastmasters, a organization for people who enjoy or who want to practice public speaking. Our chapter was a singles Toastmasters, and I was its president. My first impression of my husband when he walked into the meeting was that he was “solid,” and “dependable,” but also “dangerous.” I should explain that he struck me not as a bad-ass, but most definitely macho, the kind of man who knew how to defend himself in a physical altercation, a man who did not suffer fools gladly, who would tolerate no bullshit.

I liked that he was an LA city firefighter, that showed stability to me.

Over the course of a couple of months, we got to know each other. After the Toastmaster meetings, the group would convene at a local restaurant for a snack. I sensed he “liked” me. (One clue: he nearly body slammed a fellow Toastmaster when she tried to take the seat next to me).

My ten-year high school reunion was coming up and I was determined that I would not attend the reunion alone. Although I was dating (I’d joined a video dating service), I didn’t want to ask any of those men to what was, for me, a personal event. So I asked my husband.

He said yes, but suggested we go out on a date first. We went to dinner at a Greek restaurant, and afterwards, he held my hand. It felt very comfortable. The reunion was our second date.

My husband at this point had delivered two speeches to our club: his “icebreaker” ย talked about his experiences in Vietnam. and the second one discussed the importance of smoke detectors. Now that we were officially dating he announced to me, “I joined Toastmasters to meet chicks. I’ve done that, so I’m not going to give anymore speeches.”

Today, July 10, ย is our 20th wedding anniversary.

We have so many family birthdays in July, the month is like a mini Christmas (i.e. expensive), so we have eschewed exchanging presents for our anniversary; our celebrations in years’ past has been limited to dinner at family style restaurants.

But for our 20th, we decided to do something special. We’re new to the area so we have decided to spend several days at a fancy hotel, eat at some fancy restaurants, and explore the big city.

My initial impressions of him? They all turned out to be true. (And those are our real hands in the photo, taken 20 years ago).

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34 Responses to The kind of man I could go for…

  1. Beautiful story! My initial impressions of my husband weren’t nearly so accurate: “Why does that gay guy who was smoking by the doorway earlier seem to be hitting on me?” He gave up smoking while I was pregnant with our first, and he’s most definitely not gay. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Congrats on 20 years!

  2. Sue Lyndon says:

    Aw, what a sweet post, Cara. Happy Anniversary! Hope you have a great little trip together. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Casey McKay says:

    How sweet! Happy Anniversary! Enjoy each other ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Maren Smith says:

    What a lovely way to commemorate your anniversary! May the two of you have many more happy ones together. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Tara Finnegan says:

    What a wonderful story. I hope 20 years later, he still calls you a “chick.”
    Congratulations on your 20th anniversary and I wish you many more happy years together.

  6. Viv says:

    Sweet story. Glad he met chicks. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Congrats! I love your story, which is a sort of like mine, except ours is July 14th and we’ll be 18 years. I’m glad you guys finally get to do something extra special for your 20th, and I hope things work out so you get to every year after. Here’s to a long life! Angie

  8. Renee Rose says:

    I love it! Glad he met the right chick. Happy anniversary!!

  9. Rhonda Griffith says:

    I love that “LOVE” story:) made me smile:)) happy anniversary. Hope y’all have a very nice few days hangin out:)))

  10. Wonderful story, Cara, thanks for sharing. I wish both of you a wonderful day with lots of beautiful memories. And I love the picture you posted of your hands. You can tell he’s a big, strong guy.

  11. Aww. This totally made my day. Good for you. And good for him.

    Enjoy your fancy hotel, fancy dinner and other things that suit your fancy. ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Jade Cary says:

    Nice story. I LOVE hearing how couples met, their first impressions, etc. I had similar impressions of my husband, especially the one where I knew he wouldn’t take shit from anyone, including me. But the one that stood out for me, and holds true 30 years later, was his integrity. I took that trait for granted, but it was after I met and fell in love with Tom that I realized I hadn’t seen a lot of it in my life.

    When you meet the right one it is a miracle. Congratulations to you and your DH.


  13. What a sweet meeting. Happy Anniversary Cara. Enjoy your short break! ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. What a beautiful story and I loved your take on the reunion being a personal event and asking “him”, your future spouse… seems you did have that inclination early on… so nice Cara and congratulations on your 20th…

  15. Donnatella says:

    Thank you for sharing that story with us. I love to read about how couples met and would definitely like to read more. I did a double take on the picture of your husbands hand, it looks almost identical to my husbands hand. Big hard working hands I can always count on.

  16. Basia Rose says:

    Thatโ€™s such a great story! ๐Ÿ™‚
    The thought of public speaking terrifies me. Iโ€™d probably turn red and then faint. So youโ€™re very brave!

  17. Saoirse says:

    Congrats on the anniversary! I loved the story–thanks for sharing.

  18. Happy Anniversary, Cara.

  19. Lisa Medley says:

    {Sniff} That was super sweet. Nothing sexier than a man who knows his way around a smoke detector ๐Ÿ˜‰ Here’s to the next twenty… Cheers!

  20. Cara Bristol says:

    Another twenty would be wonderful, but I hate to think about how old we’ll be then.

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